and once again, I fail to finish an entire 365! 

BUT!

I’ll be basically finishing it here!

love y’all byeeeeee

day 313
umyeahsotoday mom and I were going to take my cousins to see Monsters University which I was really excited to seebut then it was sold outhrmphso we got ice cream and then went home and watched Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (the original not the weird johnny depp version)
MAREN IS COMING TOMORROW AHHHHI AM SO EXCITED I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING
ahem. sorry for yelling.
and I still have a bit of cleaning to do in order to prepare my teeny tiny room to be shared with another person!so that’s what I’ll be doing tonight/tomorrow morning but first I’m going to watch the colbert report/daily show:) :) :)

day 313

um
yeah
so
today mom and I were going to take my cousins to see Monsters University which I was really excited to see
but then it was sold out
hrmph
so we got ice cream and then went home and watched Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (the original not the weird johnny depp version)

MAREN IS COMING TOMORROW AHHHH
I AM SO EXCITED I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING

ahem. sorry for yelling.

and I still have a bit of cleaning to do in order to prepare my teeny tiny room to be shared with another person!
so that’s what I’ll be doing tonight/tomorrow morning 
but first I’m going to watch the colbert report/daily show
:) :) :)

day 312
was rudely awoken by painters painting my house (very loudly?? at 8 in the morning??)so I ate and then I showered and then I went on the internet I think and I talked to my mom about stuff I think oh and I cleaned my room some more because holy shit maren comes on saturday and this house is an absolute pig sty  h e l p 
then I watched friends and that 70’s show and began an episode of catfish but didn’t get to see the end because I had a date with tanvi!which was really, really niceand very much neededmet at panera then went to sweet kiwiwe sat and talked in sweet kiwi for almost two hours oopsbecause  w o w  I have had so much buzzing around in my mind for months and no one to really talk to about it (so I’m sorry for telling you all about my problems tanvi but thank you for listening because you’re the least biased/judgmental listener out there)and sometimes just saying things out loud makes them feel more validand also less dramatic/seriousand it overall just made me feel better about a lot of things just because I said them out loud for the first timeso basically shout out to tanvi thanks for listening
now I’m going to try and look up how that episode of catfish turned out and maybe watch some more Laci Green videos and also delete my ~semi-secret blog~ because I need to get over my fear of confrontation and kick my passive-aggressive habits and talk about my feelings and stop letting things become bigger than they are/angsty blogging about them because that shit is so unhealthy
bye

day 312

was rudely awoken by painters painting my house (very loudly?? at 8 in the morning??)
so I ate and then I showered and then I went on the internet I think and I talked to my mom about stuff I think oh and I cleaned my room some more because holy shit maren comes on saturday and this house is an absolute pig sty  h e l p 

then I watched friends and that 70’s show and began an episode of catfish but didn’t get to see the end because I had a date with tanvi!
which was really, really nice
and very much needed
met at panera then went to sweet kiwi
we sat and talked in sweet kiwi for almost two hours oops
because  w o w  I have had so much buzzing around in my mind for months and no one to really talk to about it (so I’m sorry for telling you all about my problems tanvi but thank you for listening because you’re the least biased/judgmental listener out there)
and sometimes just saying things out loud makes them feel more valid
and also less dramatic/serious
and it overall just made me feel better about a lot of things just because I said them out loud for the first time
so basically shout out to tanvi thanks for listening

now I’m going to try and look up how that episode of catfish turned out and maybe watch some more Laci Green videos and also delete my ~semi-secret blog~ because I need to get over my fear of confrontation and kick my passive-aggressive habits and talk about my feelings and stop letting things become bigger than they are/angsty blogging about them because that shit is so unhealthy

bye

day 311
this outfit was supposed to make me want to leave the house because I looked good but nope I didn’t go anywhere all day
I did get some cleaning done thoughoh and I woke up at the really convenient time of 9:55 just in time to follow all of the SCOTUS decisions as they were happening which was really cool(by the way, future self looking back at this 365, DOMA was ruled unconstitutional today and you cried about it)unpacked/did laundry/sorted out some germany stuffholy shit I am going to germany in two and a half weeks oh my god help help help I am actually panicking about it on a daily basis nowand yeah other than that I watched Harto and DailyGrace and Laci Green on youtube all dayand as a result of all of those things I am feeling 100x better about things and life in general than I was yesterday and basically the past week

day 311

this outfit was supposed to make me want to leave the house because I looked good but nope I didn’t go anywhere all day

I did get some cleaning done though
oh and I woke up at the really convenient time of 9:55 just in time to follow all of the SCOTUS decisions as they were happening which was really cool
(by the way, future self looking back at this 365, DOMA was ruled unconstitutional today and you cried about it)
unpacked/did laundry/sorted out some germany stuff
holy shit I am going to germany in two and a half weeks oh my god help help help I am actually panicking about it on a daily basis now
and yeah other than that I watched Harto and DailyGrace and Laci Green on youtube all day
and as a result of all of those things I am feeling 100x better about things and life in general than I was yesterday and basically the past week

day 310
drove to minneapolis(stopped at White Castle for lunch)walked around the Mall of America with Nicole for a bit and bought a pair of shortsI realized that this week I’m pretty sure I talked to Nicole more than I have ever talked to any of my cousins…like, ever.and yknow, it was pretty nice. I definitely like her the best. the others are too annoying.so yeahh then we went over to the airport and all that the flight home was finedrove through cambridge/somerville on the way home so we could drive by our new house :)then stopped for some food and now we’re finally back home sweet home

day 310

drove to minneapolis
(stopped at White Castle for lunch)
walked around the Mall of America with Nicole for a bit and bought a pair of shorts
I realized that this week I’m pretty sure I talked to Nicole more than I have ever talked to any of my cousins…like, ever.
and yknow, it was pretty nice. I definitely like her the best. the others are too annoying.
so yeahh then we went over to the airport and all that 
the flight home was fine
drove through cambridge/somerville on the way home so we could drive by our new house :)
then stopped for some food and now we’re finally back home sweet home

day 309

so today we took a tour of the winnebago factory……..
like, winnebago motorhomes. 
it was as boring as it sounds.
but we got to go to A&W for lunch so that was good
and dairy queen on the way home
then we watched home videos that we found which was fun and cute
then after dinner we put in spaceballs which I watched some of but then got bored
I’m pretty excited to be back home tomorrow

day 308

it’s only 3 but who knows when I’m going to get a chance to get on the internet again before I’m back home, so let’s do this now

pancake breakfast this morning
then back home for lots of solitaire (I’m getting better at free cell)
finished my book
went to sit outside of the library and use the wifi
currently having this experience
gonna go back soon………..
I don’t think there are any other plans for today so I’ll probably just take a walk or sit by the lake or play more solitaire, I don’t know. 
then we have all of tomorrow too, oh goodness

[edit: we went to Pizza Ranch for dinner which is a chain we NEED to get here in new england]

day 307
this morning was the serviceI’d never been to an actual funeral in a cemetery before(it was the first time I think I’ve ever seen my dad cry.)grandma kept saying over and over that it was “just what he wanted” and how happy he’d befirst grandma spoke, then renee and john and natalie and bev said a few words tooafter that we sang morning has broken - grandpa wanted that.it’s really perfect, you know. some of his ashes are with my grandma in hudson, some of them are here in fairmont where he wanted them (in the company of other relatives and life-long friends), and some of them are in a necklace my grandma wears now so he’s with her all the time.and my favorite part of the whole story - he bought the gravestone/plot at the martin county fair because it was on sale. that’s a true champine for you.so after the funeral we went back to the house and ate lunchother neighbors and friends camemy second cousins are really cutegot to chat with beth and natalie who I haven’t seen in yearsand wow their kids have gotten so bigthen we all went for pizza (all we do here is eat)then luke and I walked around town a bit because we were bored and tiredthe days go so slowly here

day 307

this morning was the service
I’d never been to an actual funeral in a cemetery before
(it was the first time I think I’ve ever seen my dad cry.)
grandma kept saying over and over that it was “just what he wanted” and how happy he’d be
first grandma spoke, then renee and john and natalie and bev said a few words too
after that we sang morning has broken - grandpa wanted that.
it’s really perfect, you know. some of his ashes are with my grandma in hudson, some of them are here in fairmont where he wanted them (in the company of other relatives and life-long friends), and some of them are in a necklace my grandma wears now so he’s with her all the time.
and my favorite part of the whole story - he bought the gravestone/plot at the martin county fair because it was on sale. that’s a true champine for you.
so after the funeral we went back to the house and ate lunch
other neighbors and friends came
my second cousins are really cute
got to chat with beth and natalie who I haven’t seen in years
and wow their kids have gotten so big
then we all went for pizza (all we do here is eat)
then luke and I walked around town a bit because we were bored and tired
the days go so slowly here

day 306

went to the library this morning to use the internet
then walked back to the house
taco john’s for lunch
walked around down town
bought a pair of brown oxfords for $4 at salvation army
drove out to sherburn for the “chicken feed” dinner (chicken, corn, beans, chips, and ‘pop’)
ended up with an extra chair at our table; grandma said grandpa was sitting there, and I liked that.
"if he’s looking down on us from somewhere up there, I’m sure he’s jealous."
(little known fact about my grandpa: he loved a good chicken wing. I remember a year or so ago when he was going back into the hospital, he wanted his last meal at home to be a bucket of kfc chicken.)
oh also bev and chuck came with us (my grandma’s sister and her husband) and then we all went to dairy queen
I can’t believe we only got here yesterday

day 305

woke up and flew to minnesota
oooohhh boy
stopped in my dad’s hometown of burnsville to eat at culver’s
(I feel like I’m in a different country)
too much family time already
grandma talks so loud because she can’t hear
and the poor thing just has so much to say and nobody to talk to anymore
unfortunately for us, that means she talked (very loudly) non-stop for the whole three-hour car ride from the airport to fairmont
it’s very hot here
oh and there’s no wifi
oh and I suck and made a big scheduling error and UGH I wanted to cry the whole way here and I wanted to cry all evening and I want to cry right now and basically I have wanted to cry for the entire past week, so,

I guess I’ll just sleep because I’ve already played about twenty games of solitaire and there’s nothing else I can do.

(this is posted from the library the day after; we’ll see when I get a chance to come here again…)